It Doesn’t Matter
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Many of my blog readers ask me how I stopped counting calories. I reminded myself whenever I felt the urge to start counting or worry about missed counts that it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Here is an example of a transition from accuracy and counting to just being… You are normal if you think these thoughts, and they will go away with time, practice and reminding yourself that you are bigger than the food you eat.
It starts with one workout. Your heart rate monitor flakes out or you don’t wear one. You think: “How will I know how many calories I burned!?” It doesn’t matter. Heart rate monitors aren’t 100% accurate anyways – only our cells know how many calories we burn. A difference of 20-100 calories really doesn’t mean much in the scheme of life.
You’ve been busy at work and miss a day at the gym. You can feel the panic of the lack of calories burned rise within you. You recall your larger than normal lunch and think: “I might gain weight today!” Or perhaps the next day “I don’t want to go to yoga because I won’t burn as many calories as a run!” It doesn’t matter. The Squiggly Line Effect is what matters. If you burn less today, you’ll burn more tomorrow. Or you could just eat a little less this week. One day does not weight gain make.
Someone hands you a muffin at a breakfast meeting at work and you don’t know the nutritional information. How will you count it!? It doesn’t matter. No one really knows how many calories are in food – even calorimeters can be inaccurate. Even if you knew the number, every metabolism digests calories differently, so can’t ever really be accurate. You eat the muffin because you are hungry and know you’ll eat less at lunch because of the snack.
Your boss treats you to lunch at your favorite restaurant and you indulge in the shared appetizer and a few bites of dessert. You have no idea how many calories you had. The meal could have been 500 or 1,000 calories. How will you count it? What if you overate? It doesn’t matter. If lunch was on the calorie-dense side, you probably won’t want your afternoon snack, or you might just eat a little less at dinner. Whether you know how many calories were in lunch or not, you’ll probably still eat lightly that night. And if you don’t, that’s fine too. It’ll probably balance out later this week.
You think about your whole day of eating. You ate mostly fresh, healthy foods and felt you honored your hunger cues and didn’t feel too full, but you still wonder if you ate too many calories. It doesn’t matter. So long as you’re eating real healthy foods, you’re nourishing your body. If you eat too many calories, who cares! You’re giving yourself the gift of nutrition.
A few weeks later, you get home from a vacation at the beach and know you overate. You think you gained two pounds and start to panic. It doesn’t matter. So what if you gained a pound!? No one will even notice. No one pays that kind of attention to your body but you. Your friends and family look at you and see you. They are blind to a few pounds. Just eat healthy this week and you’ll be back to normal soon.
It’s been three days and the vacation pounds haven’t budged and you start to stress. You don’t want them to turn into three or four. You are miserable because you think people can tell, but really, it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to be thin to be beautiful to others. Who cares if you have two more pounds as a result of a fabulous vacation. They were worth it, and so are you.
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Thank you Kath for this post. After calorie counting and adding more exercise to my regime, I recently got back to my high school size after losing 20 pounds. I’m terrified of regaining the weight and find myself freaking out often about doing something “bad”. I’m saving this passage for those moments to remind myself to enjoy life!
Great post, Kath! I think people often get caught up in the number scheme and forget to just breathe and ENJOY life.
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Awesome article Kath and thank you for the reminder. I’ve recently stopped counting calories and weighing myself (I’ve lost 60 pounds and although I wouldn’t mind losing some more, I want to do it more naturally, without being so focused on those things). It’s been a challenge but I’m learning how to make good choices because they are good choices and not because I want to lose weight.
Love this post! Working as a weight-loss consultant, I see how obessed people get with every little pound. Sometimes when they ate too much over vacation (family visit, with friends, etc.), I ask them, “Did you enjoy it?” If yes, then enjoy the memory and move on. Just like you said, just get back to eating healthy and nourishing your body, and that’s all that matters in the long run.
Kath, this is awesome! Your way of thinking is EXACTLY what finally helped me overcome my 15-year eating disorder. My R.D. said the same things that you are saying in this post. It’s amazing — if you just listen to your body, eat when you’re hungry, and stop when you’re satisfied — the calories work themselves out. The number truly doesn’t matter! I counted calories for so many years, and when I finally stopped, my body rejoiced. I now maintain a healthy weight . . . I go up a few, down a few . . . it doesn’t matter, like you said! It all balances out in the end. Some days I eat more than I need, sometimes less — I trust my body to tell me what it wants and needs. Numbers are so pointless! I was so inspired by my R.D. and the difference that I felt when I stopped counting calories that I, too, wrote a post about this in June. I hope you’ll check it out at http://definingwellness.wordpress.com/2009/06/24/how-to-stop-counting-calories/
Keep up the fantastic attitude and advice!
I love this post–great job, Kath!
[...] to let go of al the numbers and start to live again. And this is where I’m at now. Kath posted an amazing article on Breathe this morning and it only confirmed the way I’ve been feeling. Basically she said that in the end [...]
You are going to be an amazing RD
I am so stuck on calories right now (and seeing an actual RD to help snap out of it) and this post just made my brain go “yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh”.
this is a great post. i think it is very helpful for people to lighten up and enjoy food more and not always count. but i also think it contradicts another school of thought that you hear with eating right and exercising. and that is the thought that every little small step adds up and can make a big difference. this can help people who are having trouble making a big leap from not eating right or not exercising to seeing how small changes in our food and activity can add up to a big difference to acheiving your goals. this contradiction to me just shows the need for more balance in all of our lives. maybe the difference also lies with where people are with their goals. it seems like there is a need to count less and be less strict once you have acheived your happy weight.
Thank you SO much for this post, Kath! It really resonates with me as I struggle with both intuitive eating and being too hard on myself for every “bad” meal or missed workout. Life’s too short to dwell on these things, you know?
While I do agree that a more relaxed approach is vital to long term health, I think this is more advice for someone trying to maintain their weight vs. trying to lose weight. To tell someone trying to lose that counting calories (which the writer herself did, if I remember correctly)could really backfire. It really doesn’t take a lot for someone to amass a 1/2lb a week gain if you’re not watching yourself- 250 calories a day(which is what is contained in a small nonfat latte as someone pointed out to me)is all that it takes.
Jill,
I agree with you about losing weight vs. maintaining. I think the above mentality would be most appropriate for those who are maintaining or have just a small amount to lose.
Kath
Such a refreshing article. All of the instances you brought up could have been said or thought by me- what if I ate too much, how much was that muffin? Etc. In the last year with death and illnesses in the family, I have often really thought the same thing: the calories here or there really do not matter. Thanks, great post.
I don’t ‘diet’. I refuse to. And this is why. Diet is supposed to mean how you eat, not once-a-year-starvation. As long as women remember to eat properly, there will no more be a need for diet books, calorie-counters, info printed on menus when we go out to eat (which only deters my appetite anyway… really, do I want to know that it’s a 1100 calorie cheeseburger that I’m downing this one time?)
Thanks for the reminder that I’m not the only one who thinks this way. And it doesn’t make me crazy.