You’re not Jillian
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Sorry to tell you this, but you’re not Jillian. (Unless you actually are Jillian Michaels reading this, in which case please leave a comment!). Jillian Michaels is known for being “TV’s toughest trainer”. She even admits to it on her 30 Day Shred DVD, which I own and love. She’s tough, she yells, she gets results.
But, you’re not Jillian. And you need to remember this when you’re trying to get a friend or significant other to work out with you – especially if you want them to keep working out with you!
No one wants to be yelled at by their girlfriend, wife or BFF. If my husband wanted to be yelled at and put into his place he would have went to boot-camp. No, he married me thinking we would have fun, make memories and love each other.
Recently I was talking to a guy friend who, like me, is a runner. He told me that he’s been pressuring his girlfriend to run with him and she’s been trying really hard to be a good sport. He took her out on a 6 mile run the other day and could tell she was very frustrated and tired. But, he kept pushing her until she started to cry. Bam! He just made his girlfriend not want to run with him.
Working out with your significant other should be enjoyable. Don’t get me wrong – work hard, sweat, grunt and burn calories! But, when you cross the line from “pushing someone to their limit” to “making them wish you fell off a cliff” – you just worked yourself out of a partner.
By all means, go for a bike ride or run with your man. But know and respect your partner’s limits. Everyone gets better at their own pace.
I love running and am slowly trying to get Ben to run with me. But, I always let him decide when we should turn back. I think the trick is to always keep them wanting more. So, make sure you are both having good time and you’ll have a workout partner for life.
I totally know what you mean. My husband and I took up climbing together a few years ago. I really like climbing but am also afraid of heights (ironic, I know). He kept pushing me to do stuff outside of my comfort zone — I was happy top roping while he wanted to do multi-pitch. Finally he had to get a new climbing partner. But it’s fun to have shared interests. I think we’re going to give climbing another go this spring. Maybe I’ll finally get over my fear!